Bullying
Bully Bust says bullying has often been defined as an imbalance of power and occurs when a person or a group of people hurt, scare and/or are mean to someone else (or a group) on purpose, usually more than once.
There are lots of reasons that students bully. First of all, too often students see adults being bullies! Sometimes, they think, “if they are doing, I will too!” Here are some other common reasons why students bully:
What Can I Do:
- There are all kinds of ways that people bully others. Here are the most common ways that people act as bullies:
- Shoving, punching, pushing or other ways of hurting people physically
- Leaving someone out of your group on purpose
- Ganging up on others. This can be done without being physical or with words. It can be done with mean 'stares' too.
- Teasing or being mean or inconsiderate in other ways verbally—with words. One of the most common ways that people do this is spreading bad rumors
- Cyber bullying: Cyber bullying is when kids bully others using texting, email or other technology. Some of the most common examples include: sending hurtful messages, and posting pictures or untrue messages on web sites, blogs or social networks, like Facebook and MySpace.
There are lots of reasons that students bully. First of all, too often students see adults being bullies! Sometimes, they think, “if they are doing, I will too!” Here are some other common reasons why students bully:
- Students sometimes feel that when others in their group are a bully that they need to be too, so they continue to bully to be accepted by the group.
- When we feel bad about ourselves (for any number of reasons!) being a bully can make us feel 'stronger' in the short run
- Sometimes people are afraid that if they are not a bully, someone else will bully them! Bullies are often being bullied on other ways—by parents or siblings at home, by teachers, or by others from their neighborhood—and they become a bully to let out their hurt and anger.
What Can I Do:
- Don’t ignore the whole situation: When you are being bullied, you naturally just want to make it all go away. As a result, some of us just keep everything inside or even avoid going to school! Sometimes the bully does stop and moves on to someone else, but this doesn’t always happen.
- Always tell an adult you trust: Tell your parent, trusted teacher, school counselor or other trusted adult about what’s happening. Share all of the details, and let them know how this made you feel. Ask them what to do next.
- Keep in mind that no one deserves to be bullied. Bullies are not bad people, but they are doing bad things. Sometimes kids become bullies because they are bullied at home by their parents and are determined not to be bullied at school—so they bully others instead. Knowing this will help you understand that the bullying doesn’t have to do with you, but with the bully.
- Never fight back, but let the bully know you are not an easy target. Stay calm, and tell the bully with confidence and determination to “Stop it,” and to “Leave me alone.” Walk off with confidence.
- Stand up to the bully if you feel ‘safe enough’: This is sometimes easy to say and much harder to do! If you do feel safe enough, confront the bully by telling him or her how you feel, why you feel the way you do, and what you want the bully to do. For example, “I feel angry when you call me names because I have a real name. I want you to start calling me by my real name.”
- Be an Upstander even when you’re not being bullied.
- Do not respond directly to the bully’s teasing: Sometimes we just feel too scared to respond. Not responding is actually another good strategy that we can use when we are being bullied. To the best of your ability, just walk away! This also an important tip to remember when dealing with bullying online. Keep harmful messages from spreading by not responding, adding comments, or sending them on to friends. (Again, it is important to let an adult know about this. When you are bullied online, print out a copy of the text or picture and show it to a grownup).
- Don’t blame yourself! It is common for students to feel that they have somehow “caused” the bullying. Remind yourself that it’s not your fault and talk to a friend, adult in school, or parent about the way you feel! Write down your good qualities and discuss them with your family, and use this list as a reminder if you start to blame yourself or feel down.